PUDDNHEAD

I guess I'm a little more boring and mature now. Just a little.

Fair to say that I had begun to feel like I saw Alice everywhere and it felt creepy.

A few beers and a beautiful woman apparently makes me pretty dumb. And happy.

I apparently hadn't stayed at the lobby bar after the Twins lost.

I spent a few days drinking beers and shooting pool with him at our hostel. Neither of us wore shirts.

To me, in the photographs from 1979, the Sandanista leaders looked...really cool.

It was a refreshing and terrorizing experience.

But to me Nicaragua is just another example of the same goddamn tragedy of every modern leftist revolution.

When Eduardo didn't understand, he repeated TIT-TIES louder and slower, using hand gestures for emphasis.

It was really cramped and he creepily insisted that the cute German girls sit on the laps of us feral guys.

For instance I still look back with reverence on the first blowjob I ever received.

I was pretty embarrassed about whipping my dick out on the deck.

There's nothing quite so awkward as watching satanic porn with a missionary.

The hotel and weekend were fairly perfect in most respects.

Extortion is so widespread that even tiny tortilla shops have shotgun-wielding security guards.

She was more fluent in Snapchat, I in puns. Via this medium I convinced her to come travel Guatemala with me.

Please label your food. Unlabeled items will become everybody's property and moved to the COMMUNIST SHELF.

Sometimes you go with the best available information, and you end up getting it horribly wrong.

The first big shocker was the baby.

I had no idea what the plan was. I was hanging off the side of a bobcat driving up a mountain with two Mexican guys.