The Germans

San Ignacio, Belize

My hostel in San Ignacio was awesome - it was basically just a house with dorm rooms. A/C, hot showers, comfy couches and a kitchen. The other guests at the hostel were three polite Germans. They spoke to each other in English when I was around them, even if I wasn't part of the conversation. I appreciated that.

In San Ignacio I did pretty typical traveler stuff with the Germans. Carlos the solo traveler and I hitched a ride from the owner of the hostel out to some local ruins. We climbed pyramids and took pictures and whatnot. He inadvertently upset a bunch of army ants who took it out on his foot.

We went on a tour to a famous cave nearby that contained the ancient bones of sacrificed humans. Cameras were prohibited there because a careless tourist had once dropped their camera on a skull and knocked a hole in it.

We went out to a bar with folks from the tour and I had a blast arguing with a fourth German by the name of Johannes who was some kind of operative in Germany's Liberal party. We got drunk and argued geopolitics in the age of Trump.

I spoke with the cute German girls, but they weren't really my type. The cuter of the two was studying social work and anticipating a career in human resources. Instead of trading contact with them I made online friends with Johannes, the more interesting political guy.

A retired U.S. naval officer who now worked as a "consultant" in Belize drove us back to the hostel in his truck. It was really cramped and he creepily insisted that the cute German girls sit on the laps of us feral guys. Instead one girl sat on the other girl's lap. Creepy commando was drunk and drove us all around town for no apparent reason. We made it back okay.

The Germans promptly left and were replaced by a project manager from Toronto and several others, including a guy who had gone to wrestling with me back in Guadalajara two months prior. San Ignacio is a way station for travelers passing between Guatemala and the Belizean coast, and nobody stays there long. I didn't either.