Family Bonding

La Fortuna, Costa Rica

I never expected bringing my sister to Costa Rica would be easy.

At the time she arrived in Alajuela, Clare was dealing with a variety of issues. Some were psychological, stemming from Iraq War PTSD. Others were more physical and related to drug use earlier in her life. She was taking 7 different prescription medications, including Suboxone - a monster of a narcotic.

In Texas Clare followed a regular if unorthodox routine. She had a daughter and 34 pets (we did a tally - that's counting 1 fish tank as 1 pet). So there were numerous meals and cleanings to coordinate. She was awake during the night and slept during the day when her daughter was in school. She relied on my mom to fill in some of the blanks.

A change in routine for her was...difficult. The first two days in Costa Rica her anxiety amped up to historic levels.

She had extreme confidence issues. When a woman told her in English how to find a coffee shop, she turned to me and pleaded for help. She asked me for advice on questions like if she should throw out the rest of her coffee.

It seemed like everything she said was pregnant with negativity. So much so that I started taking notes. Here are thome things she said:

• Why is my head hurting?It has to be a stress thing

• I hate my anxiety

• I've had my coffee, I've taken my medicine. Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with my damn head.

• I might buy a stuffed animal because I think it'll help me sleep. (after sleeping 9 hours during the night, 3 on the bus, and 3 during the evening)

• I'm dying here

• I don't spend a lot of time outside. I mean I go outside to smoke, but I don't walk around.

• I'm sure it could be worse. I'm sure it could be a lot worse. That doesn't mean I like it.

• That's better. I was getting so sick.

• There's my headache. I should have brought my headache pills. I think it's the heat.

• I'm allergic to everything

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The dust settled after a couple of days, and Clare ended up having a great time. She is an animal fanatic, so we spent four days doing all animal-related activities.

We visited a really cool animal refuge called Projecto Asis that took in exotic animals and attempted to reintroduce them to the wild. After a tour we stuck around and chopped up fruits, then walked around feeding birds and monkeys. So even on vacation Clare got to feed some animals.

We took a boat tour in Caño Negro and saw basilisks running on water, which made my sister ecstatic. We also saw lots of caymens and monkeys and birds.

We took a couple trips through the estate of Birds and Coffee, which was basically just a local guy who had bought some land in La Fortuna and planted a rainforest. There was a 2km trail around the property, which contained all kinds of colorful frogs, birds, snakes, lizards, and a family of sloths. We didn't spot any snakes, but I was surprised to stumble upon a caymen! He quickly fled back into the pond.

The coolest part of Birds and Coffee for me was chilling on their porch, drinking coffee and watching birds. They had a bunch of fruit set out and all kinds of different birds dropping by to feast. This suited Clare as well, who like most AA vets subsisted on a diet of coffee and cigarettes.

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When not enjoying the wildlife, Clare caught me up on family gossip. She's pretty much my only lifeline into the extended family.

My step-niece had come out as gender fluid and since been disowned by her father. I don't think they've invented a gender neutral word for that in the "step" lexicon yet. They were in the air force and performing at drag shows.

Members of my mom's household were dealing with shingles, seizures, and awaiting the results of a biopsy.

My dad had bought a new house with more rooms for his four step-sons (all of whom were over 18).

Clare also convinced me to open up my privacy settings on Facebook. For the longest time I had not shared my posts with my family. Partly because I didn't want my mom commenting on everything I posted, and partly because for a time the majority of my Facebooking was drunken ramblings and rantings for which I was unwilling to take accountability. I guess I'm a little more boring and mature now. Just a little.

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All in all the week traveling with my sister went about as expected. Anxiety, despair, lots of animals, lots of coffee, and family bonding that for me is a rare and precious thing.