The Missionary

Antigua, Guatemala

After Katie left Guatemala I returned to Antigua, where the temperature is always 65-75 and everything is walkable. I enrolled in La Union Spanish school and got a cheap room at their guest house.

Staying with me at the guest house was a Guatemalan man in his 50s. He had been living in Rwanda for many years, teaching English and spreading the word of Jesus. He had stories about stumbling upon mass graves and having his students point out young men who had killed 20, 30 people during the genocide.

One night he was sitting at a table in the common space working on his computer. It was just him and me and he didn't really have a clear view of the television, so I decided to put on the next episode of Westworld, the very adult HBO scifi series.

A few minutes into the episode he closed up shop and joined me on the couch. In my simple Spanish I explained the premise of the show to him. There's an amusement park where rich humans go to carry out their dark fantasies. Most of the people in the park are androids, and they're not allowed the hurt the humans. I interpreted his scowl as disapproval for the violence we were watching.

So imagine his suprise when halfway through the episode three of the main characters on the show walked into an elaborate orgy. Dozens of camera shots of naked women, women tonguing, couples fucking, oral sex, group sex, men covered in blood with their cocks dangling in front of them. I froze. I couldn't think of anything appropriate to say, so I just sat there. There's nothing quite so awkward as watching satanic porn with a missionary.

He never said anything about it. At some point after the orgy ended he got up and went to his room. We didn't speak much after that night.