Grievances

Panama City, Panama

Panama City did not impress me. The canal was cool for an hour. Besides that it a was an ugly mashup of extreme poverty and excessive luxury. Here is a list of some specific

grievances I had:

1. No Books - I scoured that city from one side to the other and could not find a decent bookstore. Of used bookstores there were none. Apparently reading isn't big in Panama City. I eventually had to choose from the limited selection at El Hombre de la Mancha - a chain store present in the malls.

2. The Food - The first hostel I stayed at was in a posh neighborhood surrounded by fine dining establishments. I spent $25 for shrimp on a stick and a salad. There is street food in Panama City, but it's all fried nastiness. The budget muncher's best bet are the fondas - little diners where you get some rice and salad with your fried nastiness.

3. The Service - Panama City is renowned for it's horrible customer service. I found a cab driver who didn't know where the Hilton was. I went on a pizza date to a Pizza Hut and our pizza came out cold. How is that even possible?

4. The Electricity

My fantasy football season ended in Panama City. The drama was somewhat minimized because the power went out while I was trying to watch the games. Twice.

The first time was at an internet cafe. Okay, so it took me 10 minutes to get the woman at the desk to stop ignoring me and let me pay to use a computer. Okay, so no headphone jacks and my football game had a latino pop hits soundtrack accompanying it. Plus the extended campaign to obtain the bathroom key, which oddly came with the warning/demand that it was only good for "one time." But when the power in the building went out, that was the last straw.

The second time was during the Monday night game. I had moved to a hostel with fantastic wifi in Casco Viejo, but sadly during the first quarter the entire neighborhood lost power. So I watched my team lose in the playoffs by 0.5 points via text updates delivered at 2g speeds on my cell phone. Au revoir fantasy football season.

I also had a philosophical realignment regarding Tinder during my time in Panama City. For months I had been advocating it as a vehicle for learning Spanish and meeting people in unfamiliar cities. But after a depressing date in Panama City where the señorita was destitute and seeking benefactors, I decided to kick the app to the curb.

I had my fair share of micro-relationships in 2017. Maybe I could do better in 2018.