Not My Kind of Gringos

Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

While I was waiting for a plane to visit my mom's family in Houston for Christmas I was thinking about how I'd watched famous poker players streaming internet poker from Cabo, Mexico. I'd never been to Cabo. So I bought a plane ticket and made an AirBNB reservation on my phone while waiting at the gate.

I learned just before I left for Mexico that to re-enter the States you needed a negative COVID test. So I started thinking--what if I got COVID in Mexico and couldn't go back? Which made me realize that I didn't want to return to the Minneapolis winter anyway. So as soon as I arrived in Cabo I canceled my return flight.

I arrived on a Saturday and it was the first day of the NFL playoffs. I watched football in bars that advertised beer prices in American dollars. I befriended another Mike 15 years my senior who recommended a different bar with American football where the waitresses all wore tiny skirts.

The plan was to continue working my normal hours and normal job, except from Mexico. I had an AirBNB that was an entire studio apartment but really it was more like a crappy hotel room with a bed and a private bathroom. A bunch of units surrounded an open-air common area and I ended up working from the common area because I had more room there.

The internet was Zoom-worthy at times but also at times not. Shared connections are anathema to remote work. I'd be conducting a technical interview and drop off of Zoom and have to dial in on my phone.

Worse than the spotty internet though was the other guests. Some were younger and some were even Mexican but the guys who hung around and made the most racket where older white American dudes. They would smoke and watch conservative internet news videos when alone then drink and complain about their Mexican escorts when together.

For my part I gassed up the Tinder machine and met a Karla who worked as a yoga instructor at a fancy resort. I took her to an expensive restaurant where the wait staff peppered us with questions and too much information. She took me to a hip coffee shop away from downtown where the wait staff completely ignored us.

At Karla's recommendation I began going for runs on the beach at dawn, and those were my favorite times in Cabo. Wipe away all the gringos and commerce and Cabo is actually quite tolerable. It should be noted however that running through sand is more taxing than it appears in the movies.

I would have liked to spend more time with Karla, pero no me gusto Cabo. I guess I'm sanctimonious enough to think that there's a meaningful distinction between a guy who comes to Mexico and looks for women on Tinder and a guy who comes to Mexico and hires sex workers.

Probably I'm not so different from other Mike as I would like to think. But in any case I told Karla that the gringos in Cabo were not my kind of gringos. I bought a one-way ticket to Guadalajara. I doubt I will ever return to Cabo.