Loneliness

Bogotá, Colombia

People often ask me if solo travelling gets lonely. I have a pretty good answer for that: Yes.

For me it's not a dealbreaker. I'm fairly accustomed to loneliness anyway. Various family tragedies made me into an independent child. As an adult I've been in a committed relationship for maybe 3 out of 15 years. So I'm used to the empty bed and blazing my own trail.

Still, the days after a travel buddy returns to civilian life are particularly lonely.

*

I had a few days left at the AirBnB after Jay flew back to attend his grandpa's funeral. The apartment felt eerily quiet without Jay around constantly cracking lame jokes. Why does everybody tolerate the girl who lost an arm and a leg? Well, she's all right.

On the advice of my old friend Pete I decided to make a trek out to Salto de Tequendama, which is a large waterfall with a lurid history a couple hours outside of Bogotá.

Getting there was quite an adventure. I took the TransMilennia city buses to the end of the line, asking strangers which routes would get me where I needed to go. Then at the end of the line I had a hell of a time finding the right feeder bus to take me to Tequendama. Another stranger hailed it for me.

All in all the trip out there was 2 hours of standing on buses cramped with people I'd never met before and would never see again. This is a typical scene in the life of a solo traveler. Although you do always hope for more elbow room.

There's a hotel-turned-museum at the site that is said to be haunted. In the early 20th century it was a 5-star hotel for the rich and famous. It's filled with old black and white photos of well-to-do white people refusing to smile. Based on old photographs I have to imagine that smiling was invented sometime in the 60s.

The hotel closed in the mid-50s when the nearby railroad station closed. It reopened as a 5-star restaurant, but as the waterfall became more polluted and stinky, the restaurant failed and eventually closed its doors as well. For a few decades after that the building sat abandoned.

Throughout all this time, El Salto de Tequendama was the most popular place in Colombia to commit suicide. There's a balcony of the hotel with just a waist-high railing separating you from a 400 foot fall. Its reputation as a suicide cliff is what gave it its "haunted" reputation. I can't imagine it was very good for business either.

*

When I'm feeling lonely, I'm prone to let my mind wander to past romances. You always wonder if she was the one and you let her get away due to some failing on your part. And then you think - well yeah, probably.

Before I left Bogotá I had a dream about a former flame C----. She had joined me on my travels and we were sitting next to each other on a bus.

Through the windows I could see that we were pulling into a dark city with either volcanoes or smokestacks or both emitting smoke into a rusty sky. I was pretty excited to see C---- again and really looking forward to exploring this new city with her.

When we arrived at the hostel I realized that I had my small day bag but I had left my larger pack on the bus. I told C---- to watch our stuff and ran out into the city to try to catch the bus and retrieve my bag.

On the way I ran into a gang of beefy smurking skinhead types who were spread out in the street. I tried dodging them but somebody grabbed ahold of me and it seemed they were about to beat or kill me, at which point I woke up.

Analysis: Seems I went to hell with C--- and turns out I was just happy to be there with her.

Lessons: If I ever find myself in hell with C----, don't leave her to track down a backpack.