Smashed
- Puddnhead
- 2 hours ago
- 6 min read
On an afternoon in Milwaukee a handful of punk rockers were bellied up to the Last Rites bar watching Misery with subtitles. The music playing was some crust punk I'd never heard. Reminded me of Wolfbrigade.
I had already bagged a small stack on Day 1A of the MSPT Potawatomi Main Event the prior day. I had a couple days free to wander to the city. I started at this punk bar near my AirBnB.
I while later I was in a brewery down the street watching the NBA playoffs. The bartender looked really familiar. She said she was from Chicago. I was thinking of a lady from Guadalajara who was 10 years older. Probably not the same lady.
Eventually Jakey texted me that he and some of the boys had busted the 1B flight and were looking for a bar. I was now across town at Palomino in Bayview drinking tequila and advocating empathy for a former employee who had been 86'd after some failed attempts at sobriety. I told Jakey I'd head back towards my AirBnB and meet them at Last Rites.
When everyone arrived at Last Rites the crust punk soundtrack had been replaced with dark electronic dance music and they were hosting a dance party. Still $3 tall boys though which was good enough for me. Perhaps a bit much for the MSPT regs though. We decided to move down the street to Sabbatic and end the night there.
The rest of the night is fuzzy for me. I know I turned down a ride back to my AirBnB and then wandered around in circles a bit trying to find it. But ultimately I located my bed and passed the fuck out.
I had recently fired a gajillion bullets in the MSPT Main Event near Minneapolis without cashing. That Sunday I fired a satty online for the $25k entry "Huff and Puff" tournament running on ACR and won a seat. Instead of playing the MSPT Day 2 I played my first $25k. I made some nice plays in that one but I didn't cash. April ended up being my first losing month of the year.
In the midst of this disappointment I doubled down and paid for some coaching sessions from Alex Foxen ahead of the WSOP. If I was going to pursue poker I might as well go all in.
Unfortunately we had a coaching session the morning after I blacked out barhopping around Milwaukee. I was awake on time and coherent but I felt like death. We reviewed hands from the Poto Day 1, like this one:
After our call I laid down for a bit then found my way to the toilet and puked vigorously.
My day 2 in Potawatomi I would classify as a minor success. I came in as one of the shortest stacks with 145 players remaining and I laddered up to 44th place. I didn't make too much noise though. This hand about sums up my day:
Still 44th place turned a decent profit for me on my one bullet and was also good for 450 MSPT Player of the Year points, which was something I was starting to track.
The following week I was playing a midweek $1k the MSPT was running near Minneapolis. I hadn't been able to get anything going so it was 8bb max late reg time and I ordered a beer. I got my stack in with A8o in late position, eventual winner Loki looked me up with QJs, and I busted to a pair of jacks.
I don't think it's -EV to max late reg these tournaments but it feels worse to bust that way. You can pick good spots to jam but so much is out of your control until you chip up a bit. Foxen compares it to being the house in a pit game where you're a slight favorite but zoomed out it looks like flipping coins.
After dusting my last bullet I pounded the rest of my beer and drove home.
On my way back I pulled off the highway to get some Taco Bell. This is a bad habit of mine especially after a disappointing tournament. In this case it really bit me in the ass, because as I was merging onto Lexington Avenue I turned my head to make sure the northbound traffic was stopping and by the time I got my head back around I was smashing into the vehicle in front of me.
The damage to both vehicles was minor but the other driver wanted the police to file an incident report. So we waited for the cops, and then we waited for a state trooper. By this point my bladder was screaming at me.
My breath reeked of beer after downing half a pint of Modelo on my way out of the casino. So the trooper put me through an extensive field sobriety test. He had me stand on one foot and count one-one-thousands. By the time I got to one-one-thousand-twenty-three I was thinking "can most adults even balance on one leg this long?"
Eventually he gave me a breathalyzer and I blew way under the legal limit. Phew. But because the other driver complained of whiplash the trooper gave me a citation for gross misdemeanor reckless driving anyway. Godammnit.
I pulled off the highway again on my way home, this time successfully, and peed in a ditch.
The following day I woke up to nasty diarrhea. It may have been anxiety-induced. Or perhaps the spicy pickled quail eggs I had picked up at a Wisconsin gas station. My stomach was a mess and I had to skip Day 1 of the MSPT $500 main event.
Instead I stayed home and played a couple online tournaments on ACR. When I got down to 3 tables in a $215 I started streaming it, which is something I've been doing to take advantage of Twitch's free recordings so I can review them with a coach later. At one point I debated shutting down the stream so I could bring my laptop with me to the bathroom:
I finished second in this one for $11.6k which felt pretty good. I may be an incontinent criminal but at least I'm good at poker.
By Saturday my stomach was settled enough to reenter the live tourney streets and I found another 1 bullet bag in an MSPT main event. I showed up on Sunday for Day 2 with a healthy stack and feeling resolute.
In this one I was no nonsense and refraining from posting tournament updates. I did send a couple texts on how the Mikes were doing to a friend of mine who had been helping me out with legal advice.
The guy I was chasing in the MSPT PoY race was another Mike - Mike Estes - who was also making a deep run in this one.
We both made the 27 player redraw. Then we both made the final table.
Estes was the chip leader entering the final table and I was one of the short stacks. We stayed that way for pretty much the whole final table.
I told him on break "how am I supposed to catch up to you if you keep winning everything!?"
I was very patient and I suppose mostly card dead as well. The toughest spot for me was a 5-handed spot where I made a tight fold to a short stack jam:
After I laid that down there were some fireworks between the other players that vaulted the short stack Dan Goonin into the chip lead and laddered me up to a podium 3rd place finish for $20k. Mike Estes pipped me for PoY points with a runner up finish and Goonin took home the trophy.
I was happy with how I played in this one after a pretty rough week.
When everything is going to shit that just makes me want to play even better poker. I've always been wired that way. Many years ago I felt the same way when I was struggling with union organizing and 20s romances and then I would go play a show with my band. It just made me want to crush it with our band more.
Maybe I should get married so that I can have a messy divorce. That could really unlock my poker game.
It's just about time for the WSOP again. I'm laywered up and pooping solid poops again. See you in Vegas!