PUDDNHEAD

Ana tells me the chant to the tune of "un pueblo unidos" means something along the lines of "kill the gringo."

Nope, no goddamn clue where I got that Gatorade. Definitely punched a bouncer though. Or a bartender. So it goes in New Orleans.

The family shares a home with dogs, cats, snakes, turtles, water dragons, leopard geckos, toads, fish, and cockroaches (in a tank).

We oar and oar and oar until our shoulders are sore. We glide through the water. We're not facing each other so it's difficult to argue.

I'm not nearly as attracted to business analyst types as I am to tattooed girls with gardens.

Meth dealers, old ladies laying beatdowns, and idyllic poetry.

Just a bunch of grown men crying on each other.

I'm not universally beloved. I'm not even always likable. Does that make me lucky?

I told him I was running out of cities within driving distance to pointlessly visit, and that I had no reason beyond that.

During Stupor Bowl I'm the friendliest motherfucker in the world or at least at all the bars. Until it's over.

I couldn't tell you off the top of my head what color the walls are in my living room.

It makes a sound like rabbits screaming, and smells of old, unopened rooms.

I woke up with $940 Canadian in my wallet

Legally, probly best to leave it at that.

When I wake up I'm out of toothpaste and that seems significant. It's not.

I read more in 2014 than I have in ages. From worst to first.

a world where people didn't jump off bridges / they jumped into them

and maybe some day someone else will appear / some sultry survivor with menthols and beer

I hope you come back as a commerical airliner

Where do they keep the balls in these things?